I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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