its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize