I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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