I love black thongs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
