As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Alive.
So much puke
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
