Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
