Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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