I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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