Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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