It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
