Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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