Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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