I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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