apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
