I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I could fuck to npr.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
