I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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