Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
