Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
