At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
