mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
