Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fuck appropriateness.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
