..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
