I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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