Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
