Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
