Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
