Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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