Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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