Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize