Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
