he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
