Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
