Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
