she woke up with a sticky ear
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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