nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
