This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
