We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
