Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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