im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
