ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
