I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize