State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
