Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
