yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize