Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
