something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize