she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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