Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
its liver damage thursday
Randomize