"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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