Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
