You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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