If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
