i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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