So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
being pregnant is like rehab
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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