Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize