Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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