i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize