Your dad touched me again.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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