I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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