I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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