Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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