Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
